TAKE RISKS, BUT DRESS WARMLY: KNOW WHERE YOU STAND

Hot Water Music - "Bleeder"

This blog post comes courtesy of a very opinionated gentleman I had the misfortune of encountering this past Saturday night at Yuyintang.  A few words on this utter failure of a human:

I'm hanging out in the vestibule, just chatting nicely with everyone's favorite Brad, Brad Ferguson, who was manning the door, about this and that and other such things.  I was passing out flyers (yeah...I was that guy...) for the Rock Naadam show on Aug 20th at Mao (plug!) and everyone was generally being really nice about it.  This one gentleman came out from inside YYT and happened to notice the poster hanging on the wall for this metal show happening later in the week.  And with bands like Fearless and...well they're the only ones I know, but they're always good...on the bill, it's looking pretty sweet.  He proceeded to launch into a rant about how all these bands are "fags" and "not true".  1: I hate the word "fag" when used so hatefully and in a shallow manner such as this, and 2: the only people talking about "true" metal should be people like this.   I could not simply stand by and watch as this fellow carpet-bombed the past 30 years of music history.  I asked him, "So, are you 'true' then?"  Of course, his answer was yes.  After all, he replied, he listened to bands like Motörhead.  Anything else - black metal, death metal, whatever-the-fuck metal, was not "true."  Yes, he really did say these things.  Bathory, Mayhem, Death, Celtic Frost, Iced Earth, Mastodon, Children of Bodom - give it up now.  According to this genius's thoughtful and painstaking analysis, you are all posers.

When presed, however, to elaborate on what separated his version of "true" metal and his own "truth" as a metal fan from all these lying purveyors of slag, this ardent crusader of steel and might was unable to shed any light whatsoever.  I believe he may even have said "I don't know."

I don't know?  I don't know?  Listen, guy - How do you go about calling six bands "fags" with zero justification whatsoever?  Do you revel in displaying your own boorishness and mental torpidity so outlandishly?  Can you possibly try any harder to demonstrate the sluggish pace at which the gears inside your cavernous cranium turn?  Is this how you get your jollies?  And furthermore, who are you to decide that anything other than Motorhead is false metal and should be banned?  Are you suggesting that everything since the New Wave is just fake music?  Devoid of culture, of value?  Try going up to Norway and telling them that black metal is fake.  I dare you, O Warrior of the Steel.  Are you saying that it's a futile effort for anyone who loves classic metal - or any other kind - to take up an instrument of their own in celebration?  Go tell the appropriately named Cam Pipes that power metal is over.  See what he does.

This guy even tried to rip down the poster - of course, the ever-cool headed Brad calmly intervened and put it back on the wall.  The saddest part of the story is, this disillusioned critic surely left YYT believing himself to be in the right.

I like to think I have reasons when I criticize.  People might not agree with me, but I don't think I'm an indiscriminate shit-slinger.  If "I don't know" is all you've got when questioned about your views, then - as one of the truest of the true metalmen would say - you've got another thing comin'.

To close, a few words on Battle Cattle:

Saturday night was my first time seeing these guys, and they quickly showed themselves to be quite a favorable addition to the scene.  Newcomers with just a handful of shows under their collective belt, they were tight tight tight - these guys have clearly been practicing.  Musically, they're a dance-rock, indie-stomp Talking Heads-ish trio with Kele Okereke-style lead vocals, toying at times with reggae, funk, and punk grooves.  Forgive me for not knowing any names; I'll have to comment based on instruments alone.  The guitarist/vocalist, quite confident and charismatic, had a commanding stage presence and strong vocal delivery.  The bass player, far more understated in his presentation, matched the percussive vocals and hard-hitting riffs of the aforementioned guitarist with a more melodic singing style and well-crafted basslines.  Things were solidly anchored on the drums with an unwavering sense of feel and mood - whether in the predominant dance-rock grooves, double-time sections, or well executed reggae breakdown, this bearded gent's beats were exactly what the music required.  I could do with a bit more variety in the fills department (toms are your friends!), but that's nit-picky in terms of the big picture.  Overall, a job very well done, BC.  Well done indeed.