BA GUA GALS #4

Gwyneth Paltrow is the Queen B of classy, so you know her divorce was always going to be an showcase in sophistication. Drama? Ugh, so bourgeoisie. On the one year anniversary of their conscious uncoupling, Paltrow and her ex, Chris Martin, went on a friendly uncoupled vacation to Mexico, where

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Gwyneth Paltrow is the Queen B of classy, so you know her divorce was always going to be an showcase in sophistication. Drama? Ugh, so bourgeoisie.

On the one year anniversary of their conscious uncoupling, Paltrow and her ex, Chris Martin, went on a friendly uncoupled vacation to Mexico, where they were spotted laughing and having a grand ol’ non-awkward time on the beach.

Once they got back from their holiday, Martin was spotted eating eggs benedict with girlfriend Jennifer Lawrence in Central Park, and then Paltrow brought her boyfriend to Robert Downey Jr.’s 50th birthday party in LA, complete with hand-on-back action.

Damn, Gwyn. That is the kind of breezy Monica Gellar could only dream of.

P.S. JLaw, get your head in the game. You’re 24 and on top of the world, and yet Madonna is stealing from your dating pool.

Watching cars go fast is apparently just as fun the seventh time around! The latest installment of the Fast & Furious franchise made nearly $150 million domestically in its opening weekend, breaking into the top 10 in US box office history and making it Universal’s biggest opening weekend ever.

This is not necessarily a compliment to the discerning high-brows over at Universal Studios, considering their past opening weekend winners include three previous F&F installments and Fifty Shades of Grey. It’s also the only “film” (let’s use that term loosely) in the top ten not associated with a toy, teen novel, or comic book. Industry insiders partially attribute its success to the attention surrounding star Paul Walker’s death mid-filming in 2013. RIP, Paul.

Snide remarks aside, it’s important to note that with an ethnically diverse cast, F&F:7 is a success story that counts in whitewashed Hollywood. Given that the film’s audience was 75% non-white, hopefully this is a step away from the white male paradigm.

While we're on the subject, there's one thing I need to get off my chest. Nathalie Emmanuel, who rose to fame in shitty UK soap Hollyoaks, is now everywhere. When she's not kickin' it with Khaleesi she's driving all fast and furiously. Um... hi. She's a really crappy actor. There I said it. Sure she's beautiful and looks every inch the Hollywood starlet, but so what? She sucks! What is happening to the world?!

Twihards are a slowly dying breed, but the crazies came out of the woodwork for this news. You had forgotten about T-Pain circa 2007, but in an interview about his new album he accidentally-on-purpose-please-give-me-publicity dropped the news that FKA twigs and sparkly vampire Robert Pattinson are engaged. Cue meltdown. T-Pain has since claimed it was an April Fool’s Joke, but everyone pretty much thinks it’s true.

His ex, Kristen Stewart, was just the first American actor to win a César, so as long as she measures her self-worth in French approval*, she’ll be just fine.

*What a silly idea! Quiet sobs. See also: working title of my autobiography, Confessions of a Former Francophile.

Just quickly, while we're talking about KStew... WHY DOES SHE TOUCH HER HAIR SO MUCH. Urgh it drives me up the wall. I watched Adventureland recently, and her incessant hair touching almost ruined the damn thing. Stop. Just stop it.

Last up - in TV news, Mad Men’s final season is now on the air. The series finale is on May 27th, so if you haven’t watched it yet a) shame on you b) you have exactly 39 days to catch up on all seven seasons. Get your binge-watching pants on, fire up your Netflix queue, and channel your inner therapist as you prepare to psychoanalyze the shit out of Don Draper. Meet me back here for the finale.

Oh. One more thing. ANNA'S HAIR NEWS! Still only washing the ol' hay stack 2-3 times a week. I am feeling some benefits but I am also feeling quite a lot of itching and... oh hell we're all friends here... some dandruff. OK? I have some dandruff. Is it worth it? I'm still undecided. I'm gonna give it another few weeks.

Until next time friends,

Logan and Anna x

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